R2RO = Right To Remain Offended
The Right To Remain Offended Podcast or R2RO for short is Kraig, Eric, Chuck and Scott (with a special guest or two) getting together to discuss a variety of topics, from music to pop culture, maybe some politics and EVERYTHING in between.
Trigger Warning:
Because we give our raw unscripted opinions & reactions to the topics we discuss, R2RO is NSFW and NSFKids
You have the right to remain offended.
Anything you say can and will be used against you.
You have the right to have a lawyer with you during questioning.
If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you.
If you decide to answer questions now without a lawyer present, R2RO takes no responsibility for your feelings.
R2RO = Right To Remain Offended
Big Chair Laughs, Minivan Chronicles, and Drunken Duel Stories
Ever found yourself rolling away from your desk in an oversized chair? That's exactly the kind of hilarious predicaments we find ourselves in, as we share some of our funniest workplace anecdotes. From enormous chairs to unlevel houses, we're bringing you an episode packed with laughter, starting with our special guest Ally. As our general manager, she keeps our antics in check and adds her own dose of humor to the mix.
Ever thought of trading in your standard car for a not-so-cool minivan? It might surprise you to learn that this often neglected vehicle could be the most practical choice for road trips! We'll tell you why, as we reminiscence about our own experiences with car upgrades, minivan rentals, and even high school drives in Astro Vans! From a minivan transformed into a two-seater to the beautiful inside of a new minivan, get ready to redefine your road trip vehicle choices.
And, hold onto your hats as we dive into workplace conflicts and wild nights out. Ever missed a dental appointment and ended up in a near altercation at work? Well, that's another story from our vault that you don't want to miss. We'll also take you through a crazy night out with Drunk Matt and how he was almost thrown into a fight at a bar, only to be rescued by Scott. It's a roller coaster of personal stories, filled with lessons learned and laughter guaranteed.
Well compact. Another episode of the R2RO show.
Speaker 2:Best.
Speaker 1:Rock on the list.
Speaker 3:No this is no, no, best rock.
Speaker 4:By the way show is on.
Speaker 5:We can rip. We can let it rip Straight straight off the bat. Let's just remember what R2RO stands for yeah, right to remain offended, correct, so you're offended.
Speaker 3:No, I just want to offend some people.
Speaker 2:Oh well, that's what we're here to do. So this is a oh shit, this thing moved.
Speaker 4:Oh, Mike is hitching the face.
Speaker 5:Sorry, ladies, and gentlemen, somebody doesn't know how to work with microphones. Then Eric was just offended by how many microphones Eric's? Microphone was offended by him and it ran away from his face.
Speaker 3:We've been doing it for a little while now, so I think we're like 20 almost.
Speaker 2:I'm not used to this mic with the radio show. This is my normal mic. Oh yeah, I usually face that way.
Speaker 3:Oh, I took your spot.
Speaker 2:Did I take your spot?
Speaker 4:We argued there's no recliner, we talked about spots again.
Speaker 5:No where's my recliner?
Speaker 1:Oh, we do need to get your recliner. Yeah, we'll get there.
Speaker 2:Damn it, we do. We should get five, six recliner.
Speaker 3:Yes, I'm in Well, I'm good, I'm good. I don't want a recliner.
Speaker 1:Why would we need six?
Speaker 3:Well, just in case we have a guest Right like tonight we have our special guest? Do we have a guest?
Speaker 2:Ally manager Ally.
Speaker 3:Hello, manager, ally, manager, ally, yeah, she gets us all together. Is she the?
Speaker 5:general manager yeah. Or she just like cause she manages us in general yes. Or she like the general, like I'm the general, go forth and smoke some motherfuckers.
Speaker 3:No, like hey are you motherfuckers need to show up to this show at a certain time, on a certain day?
Speaker 1:Oh, I thought it was like the general, like she's going to get some good insurance.
Speaker 2:Yeah, not doing that. Thanks, shack.
Speaker 4:Can you get Shack on here?
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, do you know? Shack On the next episode.
Speaker 5:The next episode is about how he's going to talk to him about is how he fits in a car. All I want to talk to him about.
Speaker 1:I like your car. What kind?
Speaker 2:of cars. Do you think Shack has All of them? I'm sure.
Speaker 5:But I've seen him. Then they stretch out a Buick Regal for him or something like that and at one point not necessarily stretch it out, but they put the back seat out.
Speaker 1:He had a mini van at 1.2, where but his the seat was pushed so far back, I think.
Speaker 5:It was backseat.
Speaker 1:Backseat and then the rest of it. That would have been whatever was behind the back seat Mini was all stereo.
Speaker 3:Well, he comes through Laffy at every once in a while, so maybe we can just get him on.
Speaker 5:There's a whole episode of West Coast Shoppers where he builds a bike for Shack that fits him.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 5:He says the first time he's ever felt normal on a vehicle, ever. Yeah, I mean when you have something custom built for your frame, where your feet are supposed to be, where your hands are supposed to be.
Speaker 1:He turned a mini van into a two seater.
Speaker 2:But I know how he feels.
Speaker 5:I understand how he feels I work Now every time I go on a job.
Speaker 2:I understand how he feels, because Scott brought this chair to my house and that's probably why we don't have an S chairs tonight. Scott brought this chair to my house and it's got really cool wheels and all, and my house is very unlevel.
Speaker 1:Right oh yes. People out there, the best thing you can ever do for yourself, unless you roll the skate wheels unless you live in old houses. They make rollerskate old like rollerblade wheels.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, you can replace your wheels on your computer chair with.
Speaker 5:Oh my God, they roll on carpet.
Speaker 1:You don't need that stupid plastic thing anymore. They don't tears up your toes with the, especially if you put it the wrong side up. Oh my.
Speaker 4:God.
Speaker 1:But it rolls super well.
Speaker 2:So Eric's fantastic.
Speaker 1:Eric's house is not level Right.
Speaker 2:So the house is really old. It's like a hundred years old. It's been moved, what not? It's unlevel. So I'm sitting in this gigantic chair. First of all, it's really big. I don't know who fits in chairs like this, apparently.
Speaker 5:Scott, this is I mean, did you apparently?
Speaker 2:you fit in it. No I didn't, no wait, I did not fit in it because why?
Speaker 5:did you sit in like your feet with?
Speaker 2:dangling like a little kid, like the house is unlevel and his mother fucker starts rolling back. Yeah, and I have to hold on to the desk and pull myself back because I can't fucking reach the floor.
Speaker 5:You can't reach the floor.
Speaker 2:What the fuck are you sitting in? I don't remember this chair. It's their biggest chair.
Speaker 1:It's an exact replica of the one I'm sitting in now.
Speaker 5:Yeah, but you, you couldn't make that chair stop.
Speaker 2:I mean I can make it stop. This is obviously a dramatic.
Speaker 5:Okay, I'm looking at a chair I'm like, but he was rolling away from me as we were talking.
Speaker 2:Oh, there was witness to this because my heels are not on the ground, my heels aren't touching the ground. I'm doing this number, like with my little feet, like Fred Flintstone.
Speaker 5:You were Flintstone. I was Flintstone in the backwards you were Flintstone.
Speaker 2:You were Scooby doing it where you start running and you don't take off.
Speaker 1:See the prize moonwalk.
Speaker 2:It's a house with old wood floor.
Speaker 4:So nice and slick.
Speaker 1:And then he's a dude, that doesn't. He's like the Japanese. Well, you got to take your shoes off of the door. There's no shoes in this house, so he's got socks on all the time. So he's sitting there trying to get grip and all he's doing is building up like static friction on his socks, keel.
Speaker 3:But you said you understand how Shaq feels, because Shaq is the opposite direction. I understand how Shaq feels.
Speaker 5:I understand how Shaq feels because every time I rent a car to go out of town for work, I get him to get me a minivan. Every time A minivan.
Speaker 4:A minivan Every single time.
Speaker 1:Wait, wait, wait. Expand this logic to you. That must have been for some reason.
Speaker 2:Okay, first of all, any of y'all- drove a newer minivan lately. No, yes, no, talk to me, talk to me.
Speaker 3:I got to the Daytona airport to get my rental, they were limited on what they had and I really wouldn't pay attention because I get there late at night and the lady gives me the keys and she's like, yeah, I got a Pacifica for you and I wouldn't. I don't know, I wasn't thinking about it.
Speaker 5:That's what.
Speaker 4:I'm talking about Right, so Matt Davis is me, not me yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Now that we're talking about it, I understand. What vintage was it? You connect baby Uh-huh.
Speaker 5:Yeah, and instead of just like my Cherokee on it Uh-huh, you connect yeah.
Speaker 3:So I'm walking to go get my bags and the guy that I'm with is like I think they gave us a minivan. And I'm like, oh dude, for real Dude, I'd have been so fucking pumped I was not. But the inside like the steering wheel and the console and all the radio setup is set up just like the. I drive a Cherokee, so it's set up just like that, right. So I was like once I realized all that that was cool, but it still wasn't cool to be driving around. Not a look.
Speaker 5:I ain't saying it's cool, it is far from cool. Do they have, like a Minivans? If you look at it, it's just if you were had a raging boner and you saw a minivan it's terrible.
Speaker 1:Did anybody have to drive one in high school? Was that the car that got handed out to you? No, no, no, astro van, astro van. There was some Astro van in my high school parking lot. I didn't drive one.
Speaker 5:That David CB that filled an Astro van with like 818s, oh Lord, and he had to like bolt the windshield in with through bolts, through bolts on stainless steel, bulletproof plexiglass. It is so stupid Just to drive it Just breaking the eardrums, dude, hair moving, oh, but still.
Speaker 3:It wasn't cool. It's like no.
Speaker 4:It was kind of cool at the time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but hold up, but still hold up hold up.
Speaker 4:We didn't get to the why you requested.
Speaker 5:Because it rides like a dream.
Speaker 4:They do the one that was Is that long? Is that long wheelbase? It's just thing.
Speaker 5:And I gotta think I'm on the road for a couple hundred miles in a bank.
Speaker 2:So I'm gonna work it out.
Speaker 5:First of all, the company's paying for it and they don't care they don't give a shit.
Speaker 2:I'm asking why you choose a minivan.
Speaker 5:Well, the other thing is I typically have to bring a ladder with me or two. So it's either find something I can strap it to the roof which most vehicles they have don't have that shit or I can just find something that I can just toss it in the back when I fold the seats back, and it costs the same amount. That makes no sense.
Speaker 4:But it's still right. But they all ride to the right. I would go, I would rent a car and it would be like a Corolla or something. I'd pay for the low end, but when I'd get there I was a chase employee or whatever. So I would just be like, yeah, we get upgraded every single time I walk in, so I would end up with a Jeep Cherokee or a.
Speaker 5:Tahoe or something of that nature, but still way back in the day, when I was working for a certain IT company that I'm not gonna identify at this moment, dude, I went rent a car and they're like, man, we ain't got nothing, we're gonna have to upgrade you. I'm like, yeah, and I'm like 23 maybe, dude, they gave me a Cadillac DTS of blackboard. No, yeah, where were you? I wasn't left yet I had to rent that I had to go. I was going to sulfur and I mean back then let's face it.
Speaker 1:I look like a Mexican gangster, black DTS rolling down 910.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It was how many times did you get pulled over?
Speaker 5:I had it for like a week. It was awesome dude.
Speaker 4:So the only backfire from getting upgraded is we pull in. We fly into London. We're doing our Euro trip, get into London, so I'm driving on the opposite side of the car. Oh, we're upgrading you Like I had gotten a Tahoe or a Yukon XL whatever it was. They upgraded me to a Mercedes.
Speaker 5:Yeah, cool, yeah, but that right hand drives weird.
Speaker 2:Mercedes 15 passenger and driving on the right side Driving around.
Speaker 4:There was nothing fun about that, that lady behind it Six people in there.
Speaker 5:That lady behind it kind of like gotcha. Gotcha, gotcha, you just made me make quota.
Speaker 1:My boss is going to love me Is that. Is that the biggest thing you've ever driven on the road?
Speaker 3:15 pack.
Speaker 1:I mean, you know, excluding having a trailer of something on you.
Speaker 4:Other than like a driven, like a U-Haul, before.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, those big ones.
Speaker 5:Iceman had that bread truck we used to drive. Hey, dude that was so awesome.
Speaker 1:How long was that thing? Long.
Speaker 5:I could go measure it. It's still parked next to my dad's house.
Speaker 2:Grandson's, it's right there. How many axles? How many axles were there? There's only one, ok.
Speaker 5:It was literally an old bread truck. It was probably like 30 feet, you could see the outline of where he was paying.
Speaker 1:I've pulled some big trailers and oh no, Chuck told me he drives a tractor across town. Yeah, I'm driven.
Speaker 3:He's like. I don't think so. It's not worth the time.
Speaker 1:I got to put it on the trailer, so I'm just going to drive it all the way over there.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I've done that. I took a tractor through the drive through at McDonald's in Abbeyville. Me too, me too. One more, me too Me and my boy Brent Lopez, straight through, drive through from a dad house on a Kubota with a Bush Hall drive through.
Speaker 4:I did a drive through at CC's with Colin Colin shot.
Speaker 3:I'm only driven in a cross for me in Paris, but that was when I was a teenager, it's all. I've driven all kinds of things.
Speaker 1:I was going through campus, you drove in some big things on the road, on the roads, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've driven some big things off the road.
Speaker 5:Yeah, but I drove off 1942.
Speaker 2:But real quick. I drove a 1992 Ford AeroStar white minivan around 2000.
Speaker 5:Dude, I can picture that when I was working at Poets. Oh, no way that that light yes.
Speaker 2:Really, when I was working at Poets. I didn't know that you a minivan.
Speaker 1:A white minivan. When I first met AeroCube driving a minivan A Ford AeroStar AeroStar. A Ford AeroStar.
Speaker 2:Yeah we got one of those it was like white and it had some cladding on it somewhere. Yeah, some like black, but it wasn't black at this point, like a running board Like a beard gray.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, dude, I had a friend in high school who had the minivan, but it was also the party mobile.
Speaker 5:Yeah, yeah, you could pack all the people in it.
Speaker 2:Well, I traded that thing in for a 1972 Chevy 1500 single guy. Nice Hell, yeah, hell yeah, that's how much I've been liking it.
Speaker 3:I don't blame you. I'd have done that too In high school. I do that right now. A four door hatchback. You know what that is? Yeah, station wagon.
Speaker 4:Uh-huh, but it was a.
Speaker 3:Honda, so it wasn't very big.
Speaker 5:Wait, so it was a cord. No, no, it was a huh, it was a cord station wagon.
Speaker 3:Or Civic or whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it was the cord.
Speaker 3:Damn it was. I could put some people in it, but yours was no, it was a Civic. It was a Civic. Four door hatchback, for real Four door hatchback.
Speaker 4:It was like a 92.
Speaker 3:I had a 92. Not 89, 90, 90. It might look like that.
Speaker 4:I had a 92. You know, like the Subaru's look now Probably like something like that.
Speaker 3:I'm trying to remember, yeah, yeah, it was similar to Subaru shape. That's right now, yeah but it was definitely a station wagon. I think it was in a cord Four door station wagon.
Speaker 4:I remember the old Toyota Camry. Yeah, but that's the two door, scott.
Speaker 3:Mine was four doors. That's a two door. Yeah, y'all are showing me pictures of two doors, but I had a four door hatchback.
Speaker 4:Was it white?
Speaker 3:No it was blue, but anyway. But back to the minivan thing. So after I go get this Marino minivan right, I'll pick up one of my customers for lunch. We take it out. So we're walking up to the minivan and this is like a dude who has a racing background.
Speaker 4:He like race bikes.
Speaker 1:He races cars.
Speaker 3:He drives, when you say, racing right around there like he goes, enters himself in a race and yeah like he owns speed bikes and rode at Daytona on a motorcycle like real race. Like he has a team of people. That's badass.
Speaker 4:That's badass.
Speaker 3:So now I have me driving down. No, no, no no, that don't count.
Speaker 4:Not the way we we raise down. I was the camera and what's that?
Speaker 1:Everything I own. I drive as fast as it goes. I'm going to get the.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but this was legal.
Speaker 4:As.
Speaker 1:Matt showed me the lawn mower can be super fun If you know it as fast.
Speaker 5:As you have to do is just treat it like somebody's chasing you.
Speaker 1:We go riding in the woods and the roads all super wide, and his wife looks at him. She goes do you even like trails like that? I'm like you press that skinny pedal enough. I mean, it's interesting, Absolutely.
Speaker 5:It's, it's like a motorcycle dude I am racing everybody and nobody has a clue. Yeah, racing them.
Speaker 3:But this dude actually raised in sanctioned legal races.
Speaker 5:Okay.
Speaker 3:So he understands power to weight ratio and all that and what cool vehicles are. So he's like you, really, we really going to lunch in a minivan and I'm like, well, it's a cool color. He's like no one has ever used the word cool and minivan in the same sentence.
Speaker 5:I'm like, well, bro, let's just get in and go, come on. No, I am talking from a strictly utilitarian comfort level. Oh, no doubt, bang it. I can fold down all the seats, I could throw all the gear I need in there.
Speaker 2:So she's about to take a nap. I have taken a nap. I have seized out, put a blanket. I have to.
Speaker 1:The main people I remember having mini veins were the DJs, because it was the easiest thing to load all their equipment in.
Speaker 5:That's what we use the bullet, for that was Iceman's, so that was the coolest deep.
Speaker 1:That was the coolest minivans I ever knew. It was the DJs there is.
Speaker 3:I'm still staying with your.
Speaker 1:he's right, because he doesn't know any DJ so okay, well, I'm still sticking with.
Speaker 3:Nobody's ever used the word cool. Let me be in the same sentence. I'm not.
Speaker 3:You have something else happening where yes, so Going to the know, other crazy things that happen at work stories. So I was talking with a friend of ours, right? So yeah, so Anthony listens to the show, oh yeah, and we were talking about some stuff and we got on to the topic of Consultant that I did a project with and the dude comes in. So he comes in and sells us what he can do. I can do this, I'm the greatest at this. I'm gonna take care of this for you. I'm gonna work on this project. So we hire him, right, and I'm, and they bring me in just to manage the project.
Speaker 1:It's the best consultants in the world. That's right.
Speaker 2:Come in Anthony, that does this. No, no, no, I'm telling Anthony the story.
Speaker 3:Oh, so we bring this consultant in. He, you know, he tells us, oh yeah, I'm gonna take you to the finish line, we're gonna get all this taking care of, we're gonna get this certification. I'm gonna help you through all that. So they asked me to kind of manage the project, make sure it keeps moving. So now subcontractors have to kind of keep me up to date. We schedule everything, or whatever. So I was. I was in charge of his milestone payments.
Speaker 1:Oh, yes, you have to have meetings. Hey, show me the proof, you guys. That's much done.
Speaker 3:Okay, we got to get all this done. You get 25% of it done, you get a check. So his first milestone comes along and goes by and I'll prove it and everything is all good. Second milestone comes along and he hasn't he hasn't really done anything right.
Speaker 5:So, anything.
Speaker 3:He hasn't even made it to the 25% that we've already paid him for, and now we had 50 and he hasn't gotten any more. Done so, but he was.
Speaker 5:I mean, I was expecting him to like be like halfway. No, but this dude's like.
Speaker 3:So we, so we. I gave it a bit of the doubt, and you all paid me for that.
Speaker 5:Hold on, I'm going to the keys for a month, that's this contract wouldn't that that would tip wasn't that big.
Speaker 3:But anyway, we had already paid him for the first 25%. He wanted this 50 50% check, but he hadn't even really got 25% that we gave him the benefit of dialing that one. So the second one's coming in and I'm like this dude hadn't done anything, I'm about to have a tough conversation. So I'm like, look, dude, I can't approve it. I'm gonna have to let our president well, vice president or whatever at the time no, that we can't, we not don't cut the check Like he had anything.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So I tell him that he gets pissed, storms out of my office, leaves or whatever, and Calls my boss and he's like telling him how he's not work finishing the project anymore. He's gonna, you know, he's quitting. Basically I can't deal with Craig. So oh my god.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I said that yesterday.
Speaker 5:Yeah, but he was like mad. Was he mad because you would like stomp your feet together?
Speaker 3:No, I didn't stomp my feet together, okay, but he was fucking pissed man Looks like he's about to introduce a boy. Well, he was the mic. What you have a mic on your headset and it's in your beard like as if you were.
Speaker 4:Oh, oh I.
Speaker 5:Could do what I want to do Fucking Bobby Brown, killing.
Speaker 3:Whitney Houston. Oh, we'll come back to that.
Speaker 5:No, let's come back to that. So where was I was?
Speaker 3:Oh, dude pissed off.
Speaker 5:I get you fire, so check.
Speaker 3:Yo, he was definitely trying to get me fired. Oh so he calls my boss, tells my boss how he can't work with me, all this shit. So I go up to my office office and I'm explaining to him like, look, just don't cut him to check, he hasn't done anything. So he convinces my boss to come back on the property and get in a meeting with us so they can get his check. So we all go in the in the room together and and he's like, you know, telling us he's telling his story about how he can't work with me or whatever. So I'm like look, you're supposed to have this many documents, take a care of this, not taking care of we're not gonna cut you to check.
Speaker 3:So my boss is like and he's telling my boss no, I'm done. And I'm like no, he's not done, it's not done, so don't, don't cut the check. So then the guys proceeds to say well, I'm almost done, so, so, almost done. So I look at my boss. I'm like almost done, isn't done, don't cut him to check. The guy stops the meeting right there, look at my boss and he says I'm about to whip this motherfucker's ass. In the middle, those exact words I'm about to whip this motherfucker's ass.
Speaker 5:I'm so upset that I've never made anybody I've worked with say that I've never, I've never, I've never, ever. I have a new mission.
Speaker 3:Yeah, dude, it was. This is recent. Oh, I know it's few years ago, oh okay.
Speaker 4:Wow what did you say to him?
Speaker 3:I didn't say shit to him. I told my boss not to cut him a check. But then I sat in a meeting across the conference room table with like this shitty and grin on my face because I knew I was right and I knew I was about to piss him off. And when he said I'm done with the documents I said I looked at my boss and said he's not done. And then he immediately said well, I'm almost done with. I said almost done isn't done. And that's when the I'm about to whip this motherfucker's ass came out. I did, I was smirking across the table.
Speaker 1:I'm probably. Somebody said that to me at work one day at least about me, I'm sure about, but to your face in front of your boss, oh. In front of my face in a bar.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I thought to say if you're all in bar work did, yeah, I've never, ever, ever been in a fight, wow.
Speaker 1:I haven't been punched in the face once and it wasn't from a bar fight. I mean, that's not the worst thing in the world, yeah. But I've had somebody look me dead in the face and say I'm gonna whip his motherfucking ass and it didn't happen.
Speaker 5:I have had that said to me and I have said that to people. But, I have had both happened.
Speaker 3:It's happening in the bars, it's happening in a bunch of places for me, but not at a conference on table with vice president hey everybody's got that point.
Speaker 3:another thing about this story I probably believed it though. Oh, he thought he could. But let me tell you, I watched him walking up the stairs to get to our office. He wasn't whipping nobody's ass, he could barely get his ass up that stairs. So at first I was kind of like, oh shit. And then I was like, hold up, let's go, because this ain't, this, ain't last. Yeah, it was in the room. Maybe he thought he was gonna eat you. I fuck bro, I don't know, he looked hot.
Speaker 2:He's looking at you or the other guy?
Speaker 3:No, he looked at my boss when he said that, but I was sitting from the same distance.
Speaker 5:They didn't chuck us in from each other right now Wait hold on, hold on.
Speaker 1:So wait, have you ever actually?
Speaker 5:almost got. What did you say?
Speaker 1:Has anybody ever almost actually gotten a fight at work or gotten a fight at work?
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I had a dude put his hands on me when I was in Air Force. Over what?
Speaker 1:that's what always wonders me, is like at some point, it was stupid to me it's, it's right, it's the job risking it all.
Speaker 4:I'm what I don't know, risk my job but two I don't.
Speaker 1:I don't know that I care about any job. Apparently, I've never been in a fight. I don't care about anything. Enough, enough to fight, yeah. So I've always tried to wonder like in different scenarios I get in the bar being drunk in the moat, but like at work, at work, but you see, you probably I get it, though you see those people more you see, we're talking about with an employee like a co-worker or customer.
Speaker 3:Damn. He said not a boy. He said not a boy.
Speaker 4:Outside of service initially no probably with your co-worker.
Speaker 3:I've almost got almost through hands with a dude I was enlisted with at work in uniform, like in the hanger in the hanger in the shift supervisors office.
Speaker 5:It was like that.
Speaker 3:Damn.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:But I mean, it's same shit, bro. I was a fucking shithead. I was yelling out of God.
Speaker 5:It doesn't mean you were wrong.
Speaker 3:So at the time I had a guy working on my shift who could not do he could. He might listen to the show he could not make. I don't, he won't give a fuck either. He could not make it to appointments on time. When he first got in, dude, and you were, I was in charge of everybody that was on my shifts, that's easy. So I was responsible for him. He, he, he'd like miss a fucking dental appointment and I get trouble for it.
Speaker 3:Wait, you were in charge of that. Well, I mean, yeah, when Air.
Speaker 5:Force. So if somebody that was technically in your squad or wherever the fuck it was missed their dental appointment? Yes, your nuts went in the vice. Yes, dude, the military is fucking wack. God damn how the fuck does that happen?
Speaker 3:You have to remember you'd babysitting 18 year old kids.
Speaker 5:I don't give a fuck dude At some point in time where's personal responsibility?
Speaker 3:I gave him that personal responsibility, yeah they're like your children.
Speaker 4:Wow, they're not your employees, they're like your children?
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're like is that better? Yeah, yeah so anyway, the dude could not make it to an appointment.
Speaker 3:He would just miss appointments all the time and I was literally for probably like six or seven straight shifts. I was getting pulled into our to our shop chief's office getting yelled at for him and I had had enough. So I burned him up in front of everybody, because normally I would just take him in the back, yell at him a little bit Again. This time I had enough. I went straight from getting yelled at Energy all high. Y'all know how my name, energy is.
Speaker 3:Back then I was full of piss and vinegar even more than I am now and I went straight up to him in front of everybody I should have changed it and fucking lit him up. So this other dude was like you shouldn't talk to people like that, airmen like that, blah, blah, blah, blah. At the time I was like you know what dude you ain't got, you don't ain't got no idea as to what I I've got to talk to people. I've been getting a little for seven straight days for this guy and he. So he started yelling at me and I started yelling at him.
Speaker 1:That's different, though, right Cause you, you can't get away from that when you're in the military, like you said, you're having to be responsible for somebody's personal life, so I every part of it. There's no way to go like walk away from it. No, I get that.
Speaker 5:So was this before or after you shaved the mustache? I didn't have a mustache back then.
Speaker 3:I know what you're talking about. I did not have a mustache back then.
Speaker 1:And nobody was on time and he was not on time.
Speaker 2:That fucker was definitely not on time.
Speaker 3:There you go. So he's yelling at me. On the other hand, him and he we had a access badge hanging around my neck and he grabbed my badge and he was telling me you need to get into the shop chief's office. So this dude was the same rank as me and I was like you can't tell me what the fuck to do. I'm doing what I want. I'm getting on this guy because he came making an appointment. So I was like I ain't going nowhere with you. And he walked by me and when he walked by me he snatched my badge, like to pull me towards the shop chief's office, and that's when we almost threw hands. That was the only time I've ever almost threw hands at work.
Speaker 5:So like did he grab your shit? Did you like junk?
Speaker 3:this photo. I snatched it back, and then people got in the way.
Speaker 5:Okay.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I stomped that too, I stomped that too. I stomped that too, like the ground.
Speaker 5:I tripped him and how to put my heel in his face.
Speaker 3:Back then I was like 22.
Speaker 1:Especially when I was 22. No, you know Craig. Craig was that dude. Some people managed to get in between us.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you know if they wasn't there.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm talking about you.
Speaker 4:look, you didn't take five steps back and make sure that everybody had a room to get in the middle.
Speaker 2:Don't hold me back, you lucky motherfucker.
Speaker 5:I was not worried about that. It's like both ours.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, I almost threw hands and I got told I'm about to whip this motherfucker's ass at work in a professional setting, not a conference table In two separate settings Nice. Two different days, yeah, and probably like shit close to 15 years apart. Two different days, 15 years apart. Maybe I haven't changed much now.
Speaker 5:If you were to take a poll of everybody sitting right here as to who would you think almost gotten a fight at work? Who would have pulled Craig?
Speaker 4:I would have lost that bet.
Speaker 3:Y'all ain't picking me.
Speaker 1:No dude, I thought it for sure. At least I know a couple of these guys worked in some sort of machine shop, or machine metal shop.
Speaker 3:So everybody's picking, matt, somebody's picking.
Speaker 1:Matt In South Louisiana that has no AC, that's where fights happen.
Speaker 4:That's right.
Speaker 3:My money would have been on Matt. Everybody's picking Matt. I'm probably picking Matt. I know what this shit.
Speaker 5:The machine shop is volatile environment for us and girls. It is. It is the belly of all hate in the oil field. It really is dude, it is, it is. It's hate fest every year, every day. It's not heavy, it's not hate fest 2000. It's a hate fest 2000. Hey, that's 2001. We celebrated 365 fucking days a year.
Speaker 3:So did you get in a fight in a machine?
Speaker 5:shop. I have not got in a machine shop. I'm threatened to whip somebody's ass in a machine shop twice.
Speaker 3:Oh, so you were the dude that was telling me about to whip your motherfucking ass.
Speaker 5:Abs of fucking Lutley, because they touch your stuff. One guy touched my stuff and I flipped his toolbox.
Speaker 2:What do you mean? Touch your stuff? What's like he In a machine shop.
Speaker 5:It's common practice to take one's tools and relocate them to another. Yeah, fuck that. And now I'm standing around. I have a timeframe. I have to get this part done in and.
Speaker 5:I can't find my fucking tool to finish this job. So now I want to stab everybody. So once I find out who did it one I go get my tool and I finish my job. Two I wait a while and then I go over to his bench and I grab his box and I flip it completely on the fucking floor. I throw all of his shit on the ground. And then I turn around and I walk away and I don't say a fucking word.
Speaker 1:There's a theory in foreign policy called the proportionate response right. Yeah you know, they bomb this, you bomb something the same size, but Matt's the theory of the disproportionate response.
Speaker 4:I should always be, a little bit bigger than the last person.
Speaker 1:That's some people right. There's a grad that's called graduated sanctions. Make it a little worse so that you know the next time, if you keep fighting. It's going to be a little worse.
Speaker 2:But then there's the proportionate from the jump.
Speaker 5:Yes, I want you to know that when next time I do this, you're never going to be able to do it.
Speaker 1:That's my idea with practical jokes, right? I'm down, but if you, if you're down to go where I'm about to go, then okay. Fuck that we don't have that fun, because where I'm starting is where most people quit. I'm starting at the line, yeah, no, the lines behind me. That's the thing I like about.
Speaker 3:There's only a couple of us hanging out on this side.
Speaker 1:My.
Speaker 3:Matt, matt, matt, just Matt. Matt just said I'm about to whip your fucking ass without speaking. There was exact words. That's it he.
Speaker 4:When he flipped the toolbox, that was the I'm about to whip your motherfucking ass without saying touch my tool again. I'm a fuck.
Speaker 5:I'm a fuck. The best part about it was he didn't do something about it.
Speaker 1:Oh, you know probably working in the bar. I probably had some co-workers say that to me and mean it yeah, and I just ignored him yeah.
Speaker 2:All right yeah.
Speaker 5:The things I've said to people behind a bar.
Speaker 1:I mean, I was a bar back once. The time was probably somebody wanted ice and started to get me, my and I was like you get it, your fucking cell. Yeah, I'm about to whip you. What the fuck? I'll go home. I don't give a fuck, yeah.
Speaker 5:I just not like you. This is not a CEO position.
Speaker 2:I barely even hear, yeah.
Speaker 5:I get paid cash, motherfucker, I'm not worried about you.
Speaker 2:I'm here for the perks.
Speaker 1:The other dudes want the bar covering me. I don't need your money and I don't think they're going to fire me for not giving you fucking ice to fuck off.
Speaker 4:The man is probably thinking you're a dick already.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I was about to say I didn't give you ice because you're an asshole, and now you're going to be more of an asshole. I'm good, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Let's get your backs, motherfucker. Well, that's how I got out of most fights, though, is, at some point, I made him realize that the fight part of it wasn't going to resolve what they wanted to fight me about. Like at some point, I'm sitting there and I'm like you know, no matter how much you eat my ass, you're not going to change my mind about what I think of you right now. Whatever the fuck we're talking about.
Speaker 4:You're not changing my mind, but you're still going to get nice. Yeah, I'm going to be fucked up. I'm going to wake up tomorrow.
Speaker 1:I'm going to call you and tell you that you're still a piece of shit. Yeah, you're not going to convince me with your fist of whatever it is you're trying to convince me, but you just said after wasted night phone calls that reminds me of such terrible shit. Oh my text messages the day after when I was trying to figure out what's going on, Not text messages.
Speaker 5:We're going to wake up. I woke up at Pugs's house dude and my wrist Dude, my wrist. That night, yeah, that night I wanted to cut my fucking wrist off. It's really called so fucking bad when between me and Pugs.
Speaker 1:It's really called that night.
Speaker 5:Dude, it's so fucking bad.
Speaker 1:I was in bad nerves.
Speaker 5:Going to law school and at some point.
Speaker 1:got a phone call from a manager of a bar and laugh yet who said dude, I hope you're in Lafayette right now. I'm like you know, I'm in Baton Rouge. She's like Matt is on the tear through Lafayette right now and he's drunk and somebody can get a hold of him and I'm like I'll try. Is he still in your bar? He's like no, he already left.
Speaker 1:So, we can talk to this web because they had already called one of our other friends to Pugs. Yeah, so between me and Pugs, because he's at work, working in a bar outside of Lafayette, so he is trying to coordinate all this, so he's also not home and that was hilarious because I'm getting phone calls. He's here, he's. It was like Where's that? People can't spot him, but he was elusive because they were even like I got him and I'm like do you have him?
Speaker 3:Do you have him having or do you just see him Like I had?
Speaker 2:me for a minute. Are you holding him? I remember seeing people on the street and hearing rumor that Matt was over there. Yeah, I heard Matt was blah blah, blah and I'm like I don't know. I hadn't seen him at all. It's got like when I crash my truck Nobody could find him.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so somebody finally found him, scott Rogers. Thank you so much. Thank you, scott Rogers, I'm so sorry, and man, I was to corral him and bring him.
Speaker 5:Wait, stop, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1:Oh, I forgot what you did.
Speaker 4:So, sorry to.
Speaker 5:Scott Rogers for every last thing I've ever done to Scott Rogers. Scott Rogers, listen to me, listen to me. Well, you've never been anything but a great friend and the best nice fucking dude ever and I just wiped my sack on your face at every chance I had, and I'm fucking sorry, dude, you're a great dude. He really is. You didn't fucking deserve that.
Speaker 1:My bad dog, because I don't even know.
Speaker 3:Dude, tonight was that night. That night was that night.
Speaker 5:Yeah, it was that night, dude.
Speaker 1:I was like man, if I'd have been in my field, I don't know if I'd have gone and get him. I made some phone calls but I mean, yeah, anyway, Scott managed to corral him and get him in his truck. I don't know, Do you?
Speaker 4:remember what that was. It was the white accord.
Speaker 1:Do you remember with that ride home?
Speaker 5:No, I have no idea, I've been told like I fought Scott Rogers at a stoplight in a in a Honda Accord in his car.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so he was driving it Like trying to take care of while he's trying to help.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's the green one, so in the story of getting in fights with people at work. You did not think that out of this was going to come. Matt tried to fight one of our friends in his car to stop.
Speaker 3:When he's helping me, yeah, when he's trying to help you, he's the biggest favor ever.
Speaker 5:I'm so sorry, scott Rogers, my bad dog. So, yes, I don't know how else to say that.
Speaker 1:Beauty Matt is finally corralled and captured. He's still trying to break out his cage and he gets delivered to Pugs's house. Who's at work? Still Correct? Who had to call his roommate? Who had people over?
Speaker 5:Igor, yes, igor, one of the nicest, tell him how to handle drunk Matt. Yes, as he put it you have to treat him like a child and just tell him to go to bed. You've got to be an asshole and just point.
Speaker 1:Did y'all not know this? Have you ever seen me that do it to him? I've never know, like a three year old.
Speaker 5:Super duper wasted. Matt is fucking terrible.
Speaker 3:I've been around super duper wasted Matt, but I apparently not no like you use all of the parenting three year old techniques.
Speaker 5:Oh, I need you to look at me.
Speaker 1:If you keep this up, we're gonna have to go home, yep.
Speaker 5:And then that means I can't drink, and so fuck that.
Speaker 1:At this point he's getting home, right. So Igor looks at him and just goes like because that's all Pugs told him. So he just points up the stage and goes go to bed and I went to get in the bed and the bed.
Speaker 5:I tried to like Superman into the bed and my perception of where the bed was was a little skewed at the time.
Speaker 1:Did you like? Hit the bed. It was a twist. I've had part of the I've hit part of the bed.
Speaker 5:That's the bad part.
Speaker 2:It was just a twin size mattress on the little frame, so first of all it's a tiny bit. Oh, so you went over the bed no like.
Speaker 5:I kind of like went off the side. This way I went like, but I went like of only like an eighth of it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so in like.
Speaker 5:And my wrist just folded like a fucking Lego character. So you hit one eighth of the book, one eighth of the bed, yeah, and I'm assuming I'm Thank you, pugs. Again, I'm assuming it was Pugs that came pick me up and put me in the bed, because I woke up the next morning in the bed and I remember going I like I pick my head up all the bed. I'm like oh God damn it, oh no. So then I put my hand down to get up and it went Like oh no, oh, and I just kind of I got up and I scraped the cat's ass off my tongue and I staggered in the Pugs's room. I'm like can you send me a list of everybody I have to text that I'm sorry I have to apologize to. And he did, and a lot of people. There's a lot of people. I'm sorry to all those people. I was a whole other people, all the people tonight.
Speaker 1:Now, and all of the every single one of these people that he was a butthole to was trying to be nice.
Speaker 5:They were all trying to help and help him and I was like fuck y'all, it's asshole and I was just going to fucking town dude, but thank God we kept him from drinking and driving.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we got him home.
Speaker 5:Yeah, you got him the one fucking time.
Speaker 2:All the way he got me.
Speaker 1:That was we got him all the way into the bedroom in one piece, yeah, and then he tried to split himself in half.
Speaker 5:Man, I'm so glad wasted.
Speaker 1:Matt is gone, I felt like in the movies, I felt like the man in the chair from way over there.
Speaker 3:I was like oh yeah, working, let's just get the fucking fucking Matt.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let me tell you one thing, but I think I'm computer screened. It's been awesome.
Speaker 5:There's a lot of things I don't remember. You know there's a lot of things that kind of. You know I'm my memory the greatest dude. I remember a lot of that night. It was fucking fun. Yeah, I was a lot of people, but it was like I remember specifically staying calling you and like I got him and he turned around and I was fucking gone?
Speaker 1:I was. I think that was the one I said do you have him in your hand? No, he's right, God damn it.
Speaker 5:Because they had to get that to back door in the kitchen so you could shoot later and this is before any social media. No, it's not. Before iPhones before any of them.
Speaker 2:So we only had text, we barely had text.
Speaker 4:You barely had text. Not everyone had text, because it cost money.
Speaker 1:No, I was making phone calls. I was making legit phone calls, could you?
Speaker 5:imagine the hashtag that would have made it.
Speaker 2:Hashtag 5MAT Latin. Hashtag 5MAT hashtag.
Speaker 5:It had been like Save Ferris, oh yeah. It was like Catch Matt it was definitely like Save Ferris. Catch Matt Hashtag Catch.
Speaker 2:Matt.
Speaker 5:Catch.
Speaker 2:Matt, that was so close.
Speaker 5:And wearing the world is Matt, san Diego, when wearing downtown is Matt.
Speaker 3:San.
Speaker 5:Diego.
Speaker 1:Damn town life. It was so much fun back in the day it was. That was the peak of downtown.
Speaker 5:We went downtown today and did you say she saw wood doors on legends? I missed it. I didn't see it myself.
Speaker 3:Well, I went down there a couple of weekends to go for Daniel Varuse's skate thing.
Speaker 1:I didn't pay that much attention. We went to eat at Flats. Speaking of that, legends and Wild Night.
Speaker 5:That's so much fun.
Speaker 2:That corner of that bar. We had lots of fun in there.
Speaker 5:That corner of that bar on Thursday night was.
Speaker 1:One time a dude showed up with a credit card. Yeah, it was His credit card.
Speaker 5:It was. I don't know who it was. It was a card that processed. It processed multiple times.
Speaker 2:There was four different times.
Speaker 1:We were hanging out in legends downtown one night. It was bad. And this dude starts talking. He's an older dude, right?
Speaker 2:Oh well, I mean.
Speaker 1:I mean back then I was about to say he was in his fifties.
Speaker 2:And then the older dude. I mean, would he have been a?
Speaker 5:little bit older than me Current. Yeah, he was, he was in his fifth For that crowd.
Speaker 1:The crowd was mostly 20 some thirties and then mostly, mostly 20s.
Speaker 2:Yeah, mostly, some of them under, especially the night.
Speaker 4:Especially the night wore on. Yeah, it got younger and younger.
Speaker 2:It would never be like the average of 24 or so.
Speaker 1:And we would hang out by the front door Half the time to go smoke a cigarette and something else. I don't know Eric got to talking to that old dude.
Speaker 2:I don't know how it happened. I don't know what happened, but the dude said I don't know, anyone in here. And then he said I have more money than God and I buy whatever you want. Introduce me to people and I'm like bro, I got you. I got you. Everybody will know who you are.
Speaker 4:Give me 10 minutes.
Speaker 2:So it was who that was the bartender. Yeah time who made him closest to have four times Every time he had $250,. Who said you have to close your tab right, he was worried, it was like stolen or something.
Speaker 1:Oh, like the dude kept closing it, signing it, giving it to you and reopen it.
Speaker 2:Start another one, he would tip all of it.
Speaker 5:But it's, do we buy and bottle the shit, the?
Speaker 2:time of his life.
Speaker 1:We bought all the promise. I mean legends. I love y'all, but legends isn't a high class place for champagne. We bought all the champagne that was in downtown, yeah.
Speaker 2:A holler across the bar and I'm like, hey, bring me that bottle of champagne. And they're looking at me.
Speaker 1:Yeah. When I say oh, it was probably two bottles. Yeah, there was probably two of them. Bring me one of them, dude, I showed up.
Speaker 2:They looked at me and was like I don't know, I put it on him and like really, and I'm like, yo I'm getting that bottle of champagne, we good, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, he didn't play. I don't know how much money he had. I have no idea who he was, apparently more than God he was not shy that night and I spent a lot.
Speaker 5:I showed up there probably an hour and a half after this had started.
Speaker 1:This is rudimentary text message phase we all we were like was come to legends. Come to legends, yeah.
Speaker 3:It's my character, I showed up and Eric just hands me.
Speaker 5:Eric just hands me two of my drinks what I'd normally get and he's like put it down. And I put it down and he hands me two fucking shots that have no idea what they are.
Speaker 1:I'm like thanks, I mean fuck, dude, he's like is that dude right there?
Speaker 5:I was like dude I don't know.
Speaker 1:What you want to do is meet a bunch of people, have fun and everybody in legends had more fun that night because of that.
Speaker 3:So I guarantee you was just all a whole bunch of broke 20 year olds.
Speaker 2:It was so much spending money like that. I promise you he had so much fun.
Speaker 1:I looked at him and said I don't know anybody here and I have more money than God. And Eric said you're in luck. I know everybody here and I'm broke yeah.
Speaker 5:And this was in the age of the digital camera.
Speaker 3:Yes, A little like Canon, you're actually totally like a camera Separate to your phone.
Speaker 5:I guarantee you, they got some people out there. They got a whole bunch of pictures that are like who the fuck is this dude? Yeah, and they like let me tell you a fucking story, man.
Speaker 2:I wonder if that dude remembers. I mean, I would imagine he has to tell that story. He's like man.
Speaker 4:I bought the boy.
Speaker 2:Cause he. Yeah, that's something everybody people talk about buying the boy he bought the fucking bar, oh he literally bought the boy.
Speaker 1:I had that manager's tab we've talked about before and it was like once or twice and I'd have to look around like the bulldog at the right point of the like four o'clock in afternoon before the other people show up. Okay, there's like 10 people in here. Hey, I'm a buyer by a round. Yeah, just do a bar for the night, for the night.
Speaker 2:Cause Eric was running around going. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1:Put it on his tab. Yeah, the more he kept, the I'm like. So I have no um, I'm not sure.
Speaker 2:I have no, I'm learning, I have no limit right.
Speaker 1:Cause. At first the worst idea for you, but he's telling me Eric's hooking up his friends.
Speaker 2:So when I ordered the bottle of champagne, he's like yes. I'm like, uh, I'm going to get two of them.
Speaker 5:Yes, and I'm like, oh so we really we really are going to have a fucking night. We're having a blast.
Speaker 2:Yes and we had a.
Speaker 5:it was so much fire Blasted hard. Yeah, and then I just have to get back to Apollosis.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, and I did it a lot I am.
Speaker 5:I. I really think there's a horseshoe somewhere, that I'm just that lucky.
Speaker 3:Yes, apparently you are Shit.
Speaker 5:Why are you doing that, oh?
Speaker 2:what are you in? He was a white and turd. We had a demon.
Speaker 1:We're like 40 minutes, 50 minutes in.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh, we can kill it.
Speaker 3:I'm good, I think.
Speaker 1:Cool, I'll just we can start fresh with something we out.